The Broken Clock
by KSPretenderFan
Summary: The chase is over, but at what cost? MPJR
1. Missing Pieces Missing Link

**Chapter 1: Missing Pieces . . . Missing Link**

So, with the announcement by the creators of the rebirth of the Pretender, I had to dust off and finish some of the fics I had stored up but never finished. Being an MPJ shipper, I don't think I stopped *squee-ing* for days.

This fic is dedicated to my BFF, you know who you are. You knocked me out of my writer's block and I thank you.

* * *

Blue Cove, DE:

" . . . Happy Birthday dear Mommy, Happy birthday to youuuuuuuu!" A slightly off key voice of 4 ½ year old Logan sang as three month old twins Jacob and Sydney gurgled and Sydney, Michelle, Broots, and Debbie looked on.

Blowing out her candles, Miss Parker contemplated her life. Who would have thought that the woman who claimed not to do "mommy", would someday own a big SUV, for she refused to drive a minivan, with three car seats in the back?

_"Hell of a life we have here Jarod."_ She remembered telling Jarod. Hell of a life indeed. That hell of a life Parker was leading filled with lies, half truths, and atrocities finally came to an end a year ago with the demise of the Triumvirate in Africa.

In the last year, her life had become what she had always wished, but never hoped for. A life filled with laughter, love, and dreams of the future. Parker felt fortunate that she had three beautiful children, though they were conceived without her knowledge or consent, it didn't stop them from being a family in every sense of the word.

It had been discovered a little over a year ago, that her "baby brother" was not in fact, her brother. Logan was unfortunately another Centre project, similar to project Mirage, its purpose was to create pretenders that had the inner sense as well. The result of project Mirage was her brother Ethan, conceived using her mother's egg and Major Charles sperm. This project however, used different donors. This time, they used the genetic material of two red files; herself and the ultimate pretender, Jarod.

Phase I of the Project was deemed a success when tests showed that Logan certainly had Pretender abilities. Although not readily apparent if he had the inner sense, they continued onto Phase II. Phase II was a project for the Triumvirate in Africa. For the Triumvirate project, however, there wasn't a Centre Chairman's wife to act as a vessel. Instead a surrogate was chosen and two eggs were implanted by a Triumvirate doctor living in a US safe house. The babies were born only 3 months ago, 9 months after the Triumvirate fell.

"Parker, is everything okay?" Sydney asked.

Shaking herself from her reverie, Parker realized that her birthday festivities were over. She found herself alone at the table. "Oh nothing Syd, just thinking . . ." was her response for she didn't know how to describe what she was feeling.

Scanning the living room, Parker found the little boy that brought her so much joy. Logan was sitting in the corner building rocket ships with Legos, not unlike his father. A huge, often rare smile lit up her face. There seemed to be very little of Parker in Logan except for his eyes, a sparkling blue. This was a fact that she was confronted with every time she looked at him or when someone said that he must look like an awful lot like his daddy.

It has been three years since she had last spoken to Jarod. Three years since she first felt the sting of that loss; finally admitting to herself then that there was more to his question of 'What about . . . us?' And that there was certainly more to 'You run. I chase.' Her heart had been seized when she was eleven and was never released. Yet, after those awful, hurtful words were spoken, she left him. To protect him she had said to herself. But was it to protect him or herself?

Shortly after their return from Carthis, Jarod had been reunited with his mother and the rest of his family thanks to Ethan. Knowing that his mother was Jarod's missing piece, it came as no surprise when Jarod and his family had completely vanished from the Centre's radar. He had finally let go and left for good and cut all ties with the Centre which included his mentor and his best friend; well, not completely. As far as the Centre was concerned, the wayward Pretender had ceased to exist, but every now and again, he would contact Sydney or Parker, if only to try to convince them to leave.

"Thinking about the past as well, it seems. You were quite far away. Any regrets?" Sydney asked.

"How can I have regrets, Syd?" She asked motioning towards Logan and the twins.

"Parker, I've known you since you were a little girl. I know when something is bothering you. A lot has happened in the last few years. I'm not sure you've had to time to truly reflect on what you have accomplished."

Of course Sydney knew her as if she were his child. He knew that she was barely keeping it together. For the past three years she hadn't had time to worry about anything except bringing down the Centre and the Triumvirate. With both gone, she had nothing to distract her from her loneliness. She was slowly falling apart. Driven to despondency because of a choice she made three years ago. Though she justified that decision by saying it was to protect him, it still didn't change the fact that she felt so terribly alone.

Her broken heart was scarcely beating, only the thought of her children kept her on an even keel. They were her last ties to him.

The twins were the purest source of joy in Parker's life. She had taken them in as soon as they were born. Although physically, it was difficult to tell which of their parents they resembled because babies that age seem to change from month to month, personality wise, it was easy to tell. Little Jacob took after his father, determined but thoughtful. He was always trying different ways to get what he wanted. Little Sydney though, took after her momma. No patience whatsoever, she was just as determined as her twin, but just made a lot of noise when she was trying to get what she wanted.

"I don't want to be the one to bring this up, Parker, but don't you think it's time you try to contact Jarod?" Sydney asked. "You've had a year to adjust to having children."

Parker knew that if she were to ever see him again, the first step would have to come from her. God knows she missed him. She never realized how much until she was forced to live without the late night calls from the pain in the ass lab rat. Parker would shoot herself before admitting to anyone how lonely she still felt even though her life was filled to capacity with the children. Trying to live a life without him was beginning to takes its toll on Parker.

Parker knew what Sydney was saying was true. She couldn't use the excuse of not knowing where they were. She knew exactly where they were because of her connection with Ethan. And she knew exactly why she had put off the inevitable.


	2. And Jarod makes Five

**Chapter 2: And Jarod makes Five**

Parker pulled off the paved road and onto a graveled drive leading to the large two story farmhouse. As she pulled the car to a stop, she saw that Ethan was waiting for her.

"Parker!" Ethan exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "It is good to see you."

"It's great to see you too little brother, it's been too long." Parker said gently. "I'm sorry, I've been out of touch lately. . . "

"Mom said you were adjusting to your new life and that you would be in touch when it was the right time." Ethan said. "I told everyone you were coming."

Jarod and his family were waiting for them in the large comfortable living room of the house. It appeared as if Jarod was at ease, although, knowing him as well as she did, Parker knew it was an act. He wanted to appear calm and in control for his family. But she knew his posture, knew his stance, he was getting ready for a fight.

"Hello, Jarod." Parker said softly.

"Parker," Jarod said, her name somehow sounding accusatory. She looked at Jarod, noting that the brown eyes that she always thought of as sweet and kind now held nothing but coldness and was as hard as granite. Behind him, his family stood, expressions ranging from shock and anger, to uncertainty and in the case of the one young man, joy.

As she walked further into the living room, Jack, looking exactly as Jarod did at that age, was so excited to see her that he lifted her off her feet as he gave her a big hug. Relieved that at least someone besides Ethan was glad to see her, Parker returned the hug. Jack's obvious enthusiasm at seeing Parker only accentuated Jarod's lack of reaction to her.

Parker didn't notice the quick flash of envy in Jarod's eyes. Jealousy spread through him at Jack's ease in showing genuine affection for Parker, when Jarod couldn't. There was too much painful history for him to be easily able to show the slightest bit of sentiment.

"It's great to see you again Miss Parker. We heard about the Centre and then the Triumvirate and didn't hear anything about you . . . I was terribly worried." Jack stuttered out.

"Well, as you can see, I'm perfectly fine. Both the Centre and the Triumvirate are gone for good. They can't come for you and your family Jack. You're safe." Parker smiled at Jack reassuringly.

Jarod looked on in awe. The way Parker was interacting with Jack was different that what he expected. Although still having the sarcastic wit that he knew so well, she seemed calmer, and maybe a bit . . . softer?

"How can you say that we are safe? Enemy number one seems to be standing in our living room." Emily's voice was sharp and harsh as she cut into the conversation.

"Do I look armed to you? And I haven't told Jarod once to stop running." Parker answered sarcastically.

"What do you want Parker? Ethan said you had something you needed to discuss with me."

Terrified of what was about to occur and yet she clung to any bravado she had to fight. Jarod would hate her for what she was about to tell them, but she sure as hell wasn't going to cower and beg. _Remember, you're doing this for Logan and the twins._ Parker told herself, realizing that her children needed to know their father.

"May I talk to you in private Jarod? What I have to tell you isn't something you want everyone to hear from me the first time." Parker suggested.

"I have no secrets from my family, Parker. What you have to tell me, you can say in front of them." Jarod insisted.

Nodding and without preamble, Parker launched into her reasons as to why she was here. "A year ago, I was finally able to go through my father's files from his home. The past few years have been rather hectic. . . I just never got around to going through his things. I found my little brother's medical records in the files. He had been a ward of the Centre since my father died. When the Centre fell, I was awarded legal guardianship of him."

"I found out through his medical records that Logan, my little brother, is not Mr. Parker's biological son. Logan was a result of another Centre project similar to Project Mirage . . . But this time with different 'donors'. His medical records show numbers instead of names for the parents. His parents were two Red Files."

"They were continuing Project Prodigy?" Jarod asked, trying to force down the panic over who Logan's father was. Because there could only be one reason Parker was here.

"When your return to the Centre was not progressing as quickly as they wanted, a decision was made to create another pretender, one that the Centre could control. Mr. Parker and Raines wanted to use close family ties to bind the pretenders to the Centre. Something they could not quite do with you . . ." Parker stated looking pointedly at Jarod.

"Damn them! They wouldn't . . . " Jarod exclaimed, launching from his chair. Pacing all around the living room, Jarod growled, "This just never ends. They keep using me again and again! They used me to bring a life into this world without my consent or knowledge! More lives for them to manipulate and destroy! It's deplorable. Did you know about this?" Jarod directed accusing eyes at Parker.

"What the hell kind of question is that? Of course I didn't."

"Jarod, honey, what are you saying?" Margaret asked.

"Apparently, mother, I have a son." Jarod said.

"What? With who?" Emily asked.

"Parker," Jarod responded, apparent disgust in his voice. "If you need back child support, I can certainly write you a check . . . " Jarod replied with barely controlled rage. Even Jarod's mother was surprised at the callousness of her son's question.

"Jesus, Jarod, I don't need your damn money. I came here because Sydney asked me to. He was adamant that family was important to you. And that you needed to know that you were Logan's father. Was he wrong?"

"If Sydney hadn't asked you to come, you would have kept him from me?" It was then Parker met Jarod's gaze. His expression was cold as he stared at her, a gaze so different from the contented one the last time she had seen him. It was filled with pain amid an incredible depth of hate and betrayal.

Sighing, Parker decided it was best to give them time to digest the expansion of his family. "Jarod, regardless of how he was conceived, he's still your son. I know you well enough to expect that you would want to be part of his life. And when you calm down and push aside your disgust regarding his conception, you are more than welcome to spend time with him and the twins."

"Twins?" Major Charles asked. Parker pointed to the files she had laid on the coffee table that had remained untouched. "The files will tell you everything." Parker walked to the front door. Looking back at Jarod she said "you also have three month old twins; a boy, Jacob and a girl, Sydney. You're welcome to be part of their lives as well. We're staying at the hotel in town. The files also have my lawyer's contact information if you want to set up some sort of custody arrangement; and pictures too." With that, Parker left.

* * *

Parker walked into the hotel suite to find Sydney napping with the twins in one of the rooms and Logan watching some cartoons on TV.

"Hey, little man. What are you up to?" Parker asked, sitting next to him on the floor.

"Did you see my daddy, momma? Are we going to see him soon?" Logan asked. When she told Logan a year ago that she was not "sissy" but "momma", Logan was over the moon. In his young life, perfection to him was family, just like his daddy.

"It might be awhile before he comes and sees you guys okay?" Parker tried to reassure Logan as his face fell. Damn it. The one thing Parker hated the most was hurting her little boy. He never asked for this. He never asked to be born into the Centre.

"Parker, how did it go with Jarod?" Sydney asked coming out of the bedroom with his namesake. She was chewing at her fist looking like she was hungry. Parker shook her said indicating it did not go well.

"How's my little sweet pea? Hungry?" Parker asked little Sydney as she stood up to get her some formula. She handed the bottle to Grandpa Syd as she went to the bedroom to get Jacob. Making her way out of the room, a knock came at the door.

"Hey little man, let's go see who that could be," Parker said making her way to the door, her surprise evident as she looked through the peep hole.

"Jarod . . ." Parker said, cautiously opening the door.

Jarod shifted from foot to foot then began stiffly. "Parker, I would like to spend some time getting to know the children. We have a guest house at the ranch that has three bedrooms. You are welcome to stay there for as long as you are able. We can have it cleaned up and set up for you if you want to be there in the morning."

"Momma?" Logan asked running towards the door. "Is that my daddy?"

With the hopeful look on Logan's face, Parker responded the only way she felt she could. "Okay."

"Hello, Logan." Jarod said quietly. The hard look in his eyes softened as he turned to look at the little boy.

Logan stuck his hand out. "Hello, my name is Logan Jarod Parker. It is good to meet you, Sir."

"It's good to meet you too." Jarod responded. Glimpses of the old Pretender were there. Those glimpses disappeared as soon as he looked at Parker.

"And this is little Jacob." Parker motioned to the baby in her arms. Jarod looked at the drooling little boy and smiled. "Hey buddy! It's great to meet you." Jacob gurgled happily as his father rubbed his fuzzy little head.

"Jarod!" Sydney exclaimed enthusiastically, approaching him. "My God. You look wonderful!"

Jarod rushed towards his former mentor and hugged him tight. It felt good to wrap his arms around the man who raised him. "Sydney, it's good to see you!" Jarod's voice was filled with sincere affection though was interrupted by a little squeal.

Sydney immediately handed little Sydney to her daddy. "This is little Sydney Catherine. She's beautiful, isn't she?" Jarod held the little girl close to his chest. His heart melting. He thought he saw a glimpse of her mother in her blue eyes.

"I'm so happy to see you Jarod." Sydney said, firmly patting Jarod on the back. He stood back and looked at his protégé. "You look well."

"I am," Jarod answered back. "I'm happy. But I have missed you." As he glanced at Parker, she turned away to close the door. She felt envious of the obvious affection Jarod showed towards Sydney and felt a twitch in the region of her heart. The last few years with Logan and the few months with her twins had made her rusty. She was no longer able to keep her emotions in check and remain the aloof and be the Centre Ice Queen everyone was used to seeing.

"Sydney, my family has invited the children to stay at our guest house for how ever long you are here." Jarod informed Sydney.

"Excellent." Sydney responded. Looking at Parker he smiled in encouragement, as if to say . . . _"See, it will work out." _Parker was positive the children would survive the visit intact. It was herself she wasn't sure of.


	3. We Are Family or are we?

**Chapter 3: We are Family . . . or Are We? **

"How does that look, Grandma Maggie?" Logan asked as he proudly pointed to a cookie shaped like an airplane.

"That looks perfect, honey." Margaret responded with a smile as she looked at Logan's masterpiece.

"It's for daddy; I'm gonna make another one for Grandpa Charles. Momma said they both fly airplanes." Logan stated.

Parker smiled as Logan started frosting another airplane shaped cookie for Charles.

Spending the first three years of his life in complete isolation, Logan was very much like his father in that he craved company. And he obviously thrived in it.

Catching an amused glance from Emily across the table, the two women shared a smile at the sight Logan made. He had more frosting on his shirt and hands than on the cookie. They caught him sneaking another piece of cookie into his mouth. But Logan looked like he was in heaven.

The past few days had been an unforgettable experience for Logan. Jarod's parents and siblings were warm and accepting people who had no qualms welcoming the children with love and enthusiasm.

He had finally found his family. It had been Jarod's penultimate goal ever since escaping the Centre. Charles and Margaret had certainly carved out a unique family. They had been reunited with Jarod and Emily, but had also found two 'adopted sons' in Jack and Ethan. An energetic Logan and sweet tempered twins (well one of them anyway) had merged into the extended family with ease.

This was not the case with Parker. She was tolerated because she was the children's mother, but she was not part of the family. Isolation was not new to Parker and she had been able function in spite of it. The years as the Centre Ice Queen had trained her well for it. _Suck it up Parker_. She would tell herself. _It's just for a few more days_. Since Sydney had returned to Blue Cove, she was left alone except when the children needed her. She was glad that Ethan and Jack were around for they seemed to be the only ones that treated her with some sort of civility. Ethan, because he was her brother and he loved her regardless; Jack because he still held on to the image of Miss Parker as his would be rescuer wanting to free him from the Centre.

Margaret was getting dinner ready with Emily's help.

Parker was trying to calm Sydney since she had been difficult all afternoon. Nothing seemed to soothe her. Parker currently was doing the mommy jiggle which involved bouncing every second or third step. "It's okay little girl. I don't know what's going on with you today? Do you have some teeth coming in huh?"

The back door opened with a crash as both Jack and Jarod came in.

"Daddy look, I made you an airplane cookie!" Logan exclaimed.

As Jarod reached for Logan's cookie, he inadvertently met Parker's gaze but immediately looked away. In the days that Parker and the children had been at the ranch, Jarod had not once spoken to her. If they somehow found themselves in the same room, he would automatically leave without a word.

Noticing Sydney's fussiness, Jarod came over. "Hey sunshine, what's that matter with my little girl," he asked; immediately taking her from her mother's arms. As their arms barely touched, Parker felt the fission of heat between them and noticed the slight increase in her heart rate at the inadvertent contact. It had been so long; too long since she felt the immediate surge of attraction and need.

"I think she's teething," she said to Jarod and, as with anything she'd tried to say to him in the past few days, he didn't respond as though he had heard her.

Jarod took Sydney for a walk around the kitchen. "It's okay sweetheart, we'll get some ice for your gums. It's going to be alright, Daddy's here."

Knowing that dinner was about an hour away and the children were well supervised; Parker excused herself and decided to go for a run, determining that, running away, even for a short time cleared her head.

Ethan had been watching the interaction or lack thereof between his half siblings and decided that something had to be done.

"Mind some company?" He asked Parker.

"Sure. I'll meet you out front in about five minutes?"

* * *

After running in complete silence for ten minutes, Ethan decided to break the ice. "Parker, are you going to talk to me?"

"What do you want me to talk about Ethan?" Parker blew out a breath and was being evasive.

"In the three days you've been here, Jarod hasn't once really spoken to you. In fact, has been rather rude and an ass considering you did him a favor by bringing his children here." Ethan challenged.

"What do you want me to do? I can't make him talk to me or even acknowledge I'm there. Besides, this is for the children. I don't have my 9mm anymore . . ." Parker quipped and was trying to make light of the conversation.

"Parker . . . this is serious. How can you and Jarod raise your children together if you don't even talk to each other?"

"He doesn't trust me. Jarod hates my guts, you know that. And there is nothing I can say that he would believe. Whatever I tell him now, will just bring to the surface another lie to tack on to the laundry list of wrongs I've committed. You know him Ethan, trust is important. I broke that trust when I set that trap that almost got Jack hurt."

"So you made a mistake, Jack wasn't hurt was he? In fact they got away from those sweepers easily enough . . ." Ethan paused and stopped running altogether. "You knew they were going to get away didn't you? You did it on purpose so that he would cut all ties, so that he would disappear for good."

"Leave it alone, Ethan . . ." Parker warned. "Not my fault those sweepers were incompetent, couldn't take on one guy and a kid who barely hit puberty."

"I keep hearing the same phrase over and over. The voices keep saying that there's more to the story. Parker, what story are they talking about? What aren't you being honest about?" Ethan pressed on.

"Ethan, I'm not going to stand here discussing water under the bridge. I'm going to continue my run, join me or don't, I don't care." Parker said and took off running.

Ethan decided to let it go for now. He was going to do some research when he got back. He hadn't questioned much of what Parker had done in the past, her actions, and her instructions. He suspected that there was more to the whole Miss Parker saga that no one knew. Not even Jarod.


	4. Falling Apart Barely Breathing

**AN:** Thank you so much to all of you that have read and left reviews, I try to respond when I can but for those I can't respond directly to, I'd like to thank you here. Nancy, thanks for taking the time to read and review my stories, I realize it can be hard work and time consuming to leave a review and for that I appreciate it. Argen, I'm glad you like it so far and hopefully you're still reading. And to the another anonymous Guest who posted a review, thank you for reading and letting me know what you think.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Falling Apart . . . Barely Breathing**

Family dinners at the Russell home were always jovial and full of conversation. This was something Parker wasn't used to, but it appeared that the children thrived on the constant talk and chatter. Charles was seated on one end and Margaret on the other. Because of the twins needing high chairs, Parker and Jarod sat on Margaret's side of the table. Logan sat right next to Jarod. She would talk to Margaret once in awhile, or feed Jacob a spoon of baby food. But that was the extent of Parker's contribution to the table.

As Jarod and Jack argued over the last biscuit, Jack said. "You really don't need anymore biscuits old man. You're not as young as you used to be. It would take twice as long to work it off."

Jarod ribbed back. "Oh I have my ways of keeping in shape. Running a lot in the past has honed my metabolism. "

"Daddy, did you play chase when you were little?" Logan asked.

"No, that would have been your mother. She was good at chasing . . ." Jarod replied.

"Who did you chase momma?"

"I chased your daddy." Parker replied quietly, not liking the direction of the innocently started conversation.

"Your momma chased me for a long time, even when she shouldn't have." Jarod responded, though his tone was jovial, the look in his eye was not.

"But why not, wasn't it fun?"

"It stopped being fun when it wasn't a game anymore; when someone could have gotten hurt or worse." Jarod said his steely glare directed at Parker.

"Jarod, this is not the time . . ." Parker tried to stay calm so as not to scare Logan. Everyone at the table had gotten quiet as they saw the look in the Pretender's eyes. He apparently had had enough tip-toeing around touchy subjects.

Margaret, astute mother that she was, asked Logan to help her get the cookies for dessert and motioned to Emily to take the twins. . .

"It's never a good time is it? To bring up your . . . " Jarod began.

"Jarod, what the hell is the matter with you? Why of all the times do you have to pick a fight now?" Parker asked.

"This is not picking a fight Parker. It's time for you to be held accountable for what you've done. They need to hear why I'm so angry with the 'mother' of my children. God, I hate the Centre for doing this to me; binding me to the one person that symbolized my imprisonment, my lost childhood, my lost life. Every time I look at my children, I'm reminded of their mother. You are "The Centre" to me. You are a constant reminder of everything in my life I wished that wasn't. The times I wished that you hadn't left me to rot in that hellhole, that you stopped visiting and never answered my letters. I hate that you chased me, shot at me, prevented me from being with my mother and for blindly believing every lie your 'Daddy' told you about me. But Parker, most of that, I could almost forgive if it wasn't for the fact that you put my little brother's life in danger."

"I'm sorry." Parker said softly. "I'm sorry for everything I've done to you. I wish I could take back everything I've ever done; everything I've ever said to hurt you."

"You're sorry?!" Jarod asked incredulously. "That poorly planned attempt at a trap could have killed Jack. I don't forgive actions that put my family in danger. You think because you're sorry that everything is forgiven?" His rage was barely contained, Jarod continued on. Not caring how his words pierced at Parker's heart. "Do you know how difficult it is to be reminded of those horrible things every time I look at my children because of who their mother is?"

"I know and I'm sorry, I'm sorry . . ." Came her strangled whisper. And she hated herself then more than she could ever hate him. Feeling a significant cracking in her armor, Parker turned and walked out the front door, unaware of the anguish on her face.

"Jarod, stop! You don't know . . . You are such a . . . " Ethan tried to explain to Jarod how wrong he was but felt he had to go to his sister first as the right words escaped him.

As Ethan got to the front door, he turned to Jarod and said. "You and I are going to have a talk, you asshole. I swear to God, if she cuts all ties with me because of you, I will beat the crap out of you, brother or not." Ethan exclaimed and followed his sister out the door.

As if snapping out of a trance, Jarod was taken aback at Ethan's behavior. Normally a soft spoken and mild mannered, Ethan never cursed and surely never threatened violence. As he looked around the dinner table, he all of a sudden felt shame for the manner in which he had let all his anger out. Even his father looked disappointed in him.

Remembering the children, Jarod shot a concerned look around. "Mom took them to the guest house." Jack answered his questioning look.

"Jarod, there's a time and place for everything. And this was not the time; certainly not in front of us. This should have been a private conversation. I'm disappointed in you bro." Jack said shaking his head. "I think you just broke her heart Jarod."

"She doesn't have one . . ." Jarod shot back going on the defensive, not caring how immature he was acting.

"Trust me Jarod, she always had one. I may just help Ethan beat the shit out of you." Jack's parting shot hit its mark as he too went outside.

* * *

Ethan followed Parker into the guesthouse. As he walked in he saw Margaret and Emily in the living room with the children, keeping them distracted. "Where . . ." he asked as Margaret silently pointed to the bedroom.

Ethan found Parker packing. "Parker, what's going on? You're leaving?"

"Just me; the children can stay another week. I'll send Sydney or Broots to pick them up and take them back to Blue Cove. But I think it's best for the children to get to know your family without my presence hampering it." Parker continued to pack her things, not once meeting her brother's eye.

"I'm driving home tonight. I know the children will be fine. I'll let Logan know to help take care of the twins. . . "

"Parker, stop for a minute. Why are you running away?" Ethan gently grabbed her hands and held them.

"I'm not running away Ethan. I'm just trying to make things right."

"So you're just going to let Jarod believe a lie? You're going to let him blame you for everything that went wrong in his life? That's not fair to you," Ethan insisted, touching her face with both his hands as if trying to make her understand. His actions surprised her; he had clearly come a long way from the tortured soul she and Jarod had found in that train.

"Ethan, I don't matter anymore, okay? I can't undo every atrocious thing Jarod has gone through because of me and my family. I can't. I've tried, ever since . . ." Parker stopped before she could reveal anything more.

Ethan gasped as he came to the realization. "Everything you've done has been for him hasn't it? When you called me and told me where to find Margaret. When you set up that trap? It was to get Jarod to go away for good; for his safety, our safety. You made him hate you to protect him." In her silence, Ethan found the truth.

"What else have you done for him that he doesn't know about?" Ethan asked.

"It doesn't matter anymore okay? It's water under the bridge. I can only make things better by blending into the background and letting the children be with their father. They deserve that . . ."

Parker picked up her luggage and walked through to the living room.

She motioned for Logan to come over. "Hey little man, momma's got to go home to take care of work okay? I know you and your brother and sister are having lots of fun so you can stay an extra week . . . that is if it's okay with Grandma . . .?" Parker looked at Margaret who nodded. "You help grandma and daddy take care of the twins." Logan, oblivious to the drama that had occurred responded with a happy "'kay momma. I love you," He said hugging her then went back to what he was doing.

Parker stood up thanked Margaret for her hospitality and left.

"Ethan," Margaret asked. "What just happened? Things aren't what they seem are they?"

"No, they don't seem to be . . ." And he was going to find out everything neither one of his half siblings wanted to tell him.


	5. Barely Holding On

**Chapter 5: Barely Holding On **

The next few days after her return to Blue Cove were difficult for Parker. Not only did she miss the presence of the children, but she felt as if she was in mourning. She mourned the loss of her best friend, her only friend, and everything that would never be. When she was a young girl she made a promise to herself that she would do everything she could to help free her friend. _Friends, forever right?_ As a child, all Parker ever wanted was to be free from the Centre and be with Jarod. Forever, her naïve little heart had insisted. As they matured into young adults, although her father had continued to feed her lies about anything and everything, she still had hope that one day she and Jarod would be free.

Ethan was right, everything she had done over the years, from working for the Centre, chasing Jarod, Carthis, and after, it was all for Him. No one really knew the extent of what she had endured just so Jarod would be free and remain free with his family. The things she had done over the years were accomplished with single-minded determination and sheer tenacity. Her goal had been Jarod's safety, his freedom, the life he deserved outside of the Centre. She did what she did without thought of how it would make her appear or what others might think.

To continue to protect him and keep him safe, she did what she did to get by in this world. No one will ever know that the Ice Queen, who cared about no one but herself, was the little girl who forged a bond when she was eleven and would do anything for her best friend. No one knew, but she was the woman who loved Freud as a father, cared about Broots as a brother, and Debbie as a daughter.

No one could have known that the Miss Parker that continued to believe lie after lie of her father and blindly did what she was ordered to by the Centre, was really the young head of Centre security that turned a blind eye the night her best friend escaped. The young head of security that ignored clear signs of planned escape.

No one would ever know that the woman tasked with bringing the Pretender back to the Centre was the same woman who intentionally missed easy shots to take him down, ignored tangible leads, and didn't use her inner sense to find him. She was the same huntress who staged a trap for the pretender but did not use sweepers, but FBI agents that were ordered to let them go.

No one would ever know, because she would never tell. She didn't do what she did to be recognized as a good guy, a white hat. She did it for the little boy she stole her first kiss from.

Even though her feelings for Jarod caused her nothing but pain, it was nothing compared to the pain she had caused him. Realizing that nothing could be done to undo the past and that she had lost all hope of having any relationship with him besides through the children, her strategically erected walls come crashing down.

* * *

_Three Years Prior:_

Wearily walking into the millionth hotel room in the last five odd years, Parker breathed a heavy sigh. Seventy percent stress, twenty percent relief, ten percent sadness; the heavy sigh signified the elephant in the room. She kicked off her shoes and slumped down on the bed not bothering to take her work clothes off.

She was undeniably exhausted. When did exhaustion become the norm? Days spent chasing Jarod knowing he would be long gone by the time they arrived at his lair, nights spent chain-smoking and drinking until sleep took her. Only to be woken up in the wee hours of the morning by taunts about her past. Answers that was wanted and needed but was just out of reach to either one of them.

In her eyes, the only way to find peace and her answers was to take it all down. The Centre, the Triumvirate and cleanse away the horrors of the last three decades.

As Parker drifted off to sleep, memories of the debacle in the safe house were front and center in her mind. Bullets flying, glass breaking, screaming into two way radios to stand down.

"What do you mean Jarod brought someone?" She had screamed into the radio. My God, they were supposed to meet to exchange information, information he had indicated she would want to know. She hadn't factored in the thought that he would bring Jack, his clone, along. Jack's presence threw everyone for a loop, before she was able to get control of the situation, tempers had flared and bullets, albeit blanks, had been shot and a whole lot of noise was made.

The events of the past few hours should have qualified as an accomplishment, yet she didn't feel like celebrating. After all, why would she celebrate the demise of a friendship she had cherished since she was a little girl? The look of hurt and betrayal and anger in his eyes had left an indelible mark. Her plan worked, her plan for him to cut all ties with her and the Centre worked, but at what cost?

There was a bitter taste in her mouth when she admitted it; her mother's voice in her head had been right. The plan to get Jarod out of the way so she could do what she needed to do without him or his family getting caught in the cross fire had back fired. If only she had stopped and listened. She wouldn't be lying on the bed restlessly tossing and turning feeling like the most incompetent bitch in the world.

Her eyes flew open when she heard the barely detectable snick of the closing door. Before she had a chance to reach for her gun at the bedside table, he was on her with one hand clamped over her mouth and the other imprisoning her wrists above her head. Jarod had entered the room silently, his eyes adjusting to the dark a lot quicker than Parker's.

She felt rather than saw the intensity of his gaze. Silently, they regarded one another for several minutes. Tension finally overcoming her, Parker broke the silenced and asked, "What the hell are you doing here, Jarod?"

"I wanted some answers. Answers to how you could do this to us? To me? To Gemini?" He said, his tone angrier than she had ever heard. "Can you tell me how I can still doubt what my own eyes saw today?" He grabbed her chin tightly and got in her face. "Can you?!" He demanded.

Parker gazed at him mutely as her eyes furiously blinked away the remorseful tears that threatened; her teeth biting the traitorous lip that had started to tremble.

_Remember, he needs to be convinced._ She reminded herself.

Parker bolted upright, landed both hands on Jarod's chest and shoved him off of her. "Some genius you are," she demanded as she shot off the bed and covered the length of the floor in two long strides, putting as much distance between them. "What did you think? That we would all get together, you, me, and Jack and sing Kumbaya?"

"No!" Jarod emphatically denied, but she could tell that he half expected something such as that. He made short work of the physical distance between them and grabbed Parker up by the arms and turned her to face him. Squeezing her arms tightly, Jarod shook her. "Jack could have gotten hurt or worse, he could have died in the crossfire. Don't you care?" He hissed in Parker's face.

"Oh I care Jarod, about myself. I want out of the Centre and pardon me for taking the opportunity you eagerly handed to me." Parker said cruelly.

Jarod pushed her away, crossed his arms in defense, as if to ward off the cruelty of her words. The hair on the back of Parker's neck stood on end as Jarod's eyes went flat and cold, scrutinizing her, as if . . .

"Don't you dare, Jarod!" she warned rising to the challenge and stepping right into his personal space, lips within inches of each other's. "Stay out of my head; you might not like what you discover," she finished in her low, husky, yet dangerous voice.

She was about to continue her tirade, when with the slightest of movements, he diminished the minute gap between them. Her knee-jerk reaction to the contact was one of retreat, but as a shaft of something primal went through her, it became a fight for control over the unexpected but long awaited kiss. Their lips dared to explore that which their bodies had secretly yearned for in the decades they had known each other but was denied time and time again. Instinctively knowing what needed to be done, she pushed him with her body as her arms wrapped around his neck. With barely a breath taken, her hands were efficiently pulling his jacket off and hastily disposing of it as his fingers fought with each and every button on her blouse.

He paused, looking at her as if to ask what they were doing. Though it would have been the wise thing to do, Parker didn't want him to stop. And in true Miss Parker fashion, she goaded him into submission. "What's the matter, rat-boy? Don't have the set to finish this?"

What he did next stunned both of them mute; he tore her blouse open, buttons be damned, and shot back, "Oh, I'm sure you know that I do." Their gazes held astonishment, incomprehension, fury and all the sentiment that had amassed over the decades. Though only a blip, the stare down appeared never-ending.

In a flash, Parker felt the bed beneath her and an unyielding weight on top of her. They both fought for dominance and though it was clear that she had won, ending up on top, Jarod stood his ground and didn't back off. A shiver ran up her spine as she felt her effect on him through his jeans. Parker's need for him was palpable. Clear in the way her teeth scraped his lip then quickly comforted it with her tongue. Her gaze was filled with longing and the way she relentlessly grated her hips against him made it clear what she wanted; what she needed; the two of them together even if it was just for a night.

As she made quick work of his shirt and groped desperately at his jeans, she growled, "God you make me so mad, Jarod."

"You're angry at me?" He exclaimed incredulously, rolling them over where he ended up straddling her. They continued stripping what remained of their clothing as each moaned with the discovery of naked skin in between rumbles of angry curses at whatever piece of clothing was giving them trouble.

She didn't struggle as he parted her knees and pushed his way closer to the one place he had wanted to be for oh, so long. Her shapely leg rode high up his thigh while his fingers did something exquisite to her nerve center. An enigma, she was both fire and ice, and gave as good as she got. Clawing at his shoulders, she dug into his skin to pull him closer than close. In the darkness, their mouths ferociously fought, with teeth nipping and tongues swirling until they showed each other no leniency for each and every transgression over the years, real or imagined.

Then, somehow, the tempo of their actions changed; from frenzied and angry to gentle and soothing for there was no turning back now, and they both knew it. Both acted on instinct and insatiable need without thought of the ramifications. The situation had gotten away from them and there would have to be reprisal for this stolen night together. For the moment though, their purpose now was to make it memorable. Make the memory one that would keep them warm during future lonely nights.

Jarod lowered his head, paying attention to her breasts with his mouth. Hooking her leg higher around his hips, she slid a hand onto him at the same time. She stroked him boldly while he continued to pay homage to her breasts. Within a short span, she was panting, losing track of her own rhythm, only aware of her need for him.

Jarod looked into her eyes while one hand traveled down her stomach. She lifted her hips instinctively as he touched her. She knew he could feel how ready she was for him. His gaze grew hooded as his jaw clenched. He stroked her, keeping track of the gasps and sighs.

Just when she was about to shriek with aggravation, he flexed his hips into hers. Her body granted him entrance as he buried himself to the hilt. She let out a gasp of pure unadulterated pleasure as he started to move. Within seconds, she'd matched his rhythm and finally in sync, they were only aware of each other. She was aware of his lips on her breasts. He, aware of her palms on his back and shoulders. Both of them were aware only of the steady motion of their movement. All too soon, her body tightened around him and her fingers curled into his backside as she felt her release.

He laid kisses on her forehead, her cheeks and her lips, slowing his pace as he slid a hand down her stomach again. She let loose another gasp of surprise and pleasure as he coaxed her towards a second release. Parker was trembling, legs tightening around him, uttering his name as she peaked once more, this time, taking him with her.

Over the course of the long night, the two red files reached for each other over and over. While consumed by their need, each could forget about the events that brought them here. They could forget about the rest of the world if only for that night. Feeling invincible with their arms around each other, they each found comfort and a safe haven in the darkness.

Parker was thankful for the darkness so that Jarod could not see her tormented thoughts, knowing full well that with the arrival of the morning, he would hate her for what she had done and himself for allowing her to lure him into her intoxicating web of deceit, without knowing the full truth. That she needed him as far away from the Centre while she completed her mother's plan. The only way she could accomplish that was to make him think she didn't care, that she was still the cold hearted opportunist he thought she was regardless of how their friendship had been cultivated over the last year since Carthis.

* * *

Waking up the next morning, Parker realized that reality was a hard pill to swallow. Though they had one evening of uninterrupted bliss, it was time to return to her plan, or rather, her mother's plan. Her heart constricted as she gazed at Jarod, asleep with a satisfied smirk on his lips. She knew full well that it might be the last time she would see that smirk for a long time to come, perhaps even the last time.

Parker slid silently from the bed, went around to Jarod's side and knelt down. Brushing an errant curl that had fallen on his forehead, she ran her knuckles gently across his cheek as if to soothe him. Her face was mere inches from his as she whispered, "I'm sorry, I have to do this." _I promised mom. _She added to herself.

Taking her time getting dressed, she half hoped that he would wake up and force a confrontation. A confrontation she knew would help her unload what she had been planning in secret for so many months. Watching him sleep, looking so susceptible, she sighed heavily for she wanted nothing more than to tell him the one thing she knew couldn't, at least, not at that moment, for it wasn't the right time.

When she once again looked the part of the Centre Ice Queen, she quietly slipped out of the room without a backward glance as she left the one person that mattered most to her world behind.


	6. Broken locks inside my head

**AN:** Another round of thank yous to the anonymous reviewers (Nancy and Dana) I wasn't able to respond to directly. Glad that you are still reading and leaving reviews.

**AN2:** A big thank you too to fanfic author **Phenyx** who looked over my fic and found nothing wrong with it besides similar plot lines to hers and a few technical issues here and there. And to **Mirage** who took the time to post reviews in another site and offered nothing but encouragement.

* * *

**Chapter 6: Broken Locks inside my Head**

Major Charles had offered to fly the children back and deliver them to her home and Parker was eagerly awaiting their return. The week without them was the longest amount of time they had spent since the twins were born. She opened door to and unexpected sight. "Jarod . . . you're here."

"Parker, I, uh," Jarod started.

"You'd apologize for the way you let your feelings be known. Realize it wasn't the appropriate time. Oh and also that you want to have a civil relationship because of the children. Great, apology accepted. Now let's get the munchkins and bring them in, I missed them." When in doubt, Parker always pulled out the Ice Queen Façade; or at the very least, the smart-ass one.

"Of course. They missed you too." Jarod said as he stepped aside so Parker could make her way to the car as Major Charles was bringing in the children's luggage. "Major, you can just leave them in the front hallway. I'll take care of them later . . ." Parker instructed.

"Momma! I missed you." Logan exclaimed as she got him out of the car. Logan hugged her with both sets of limbs so tight she thought she would topple over. As he released her, she put him down on the ground and made her way into the car to get little Sydney. As the little girl caught sight of her momma, she smiled a gummy smile and started to kick her feet. "Oh, sweetheart, you did get a little bitty tooth, didn't you." Parker exclaimed.

As much as Jarod didn't want to think about it, the few days that Parker was at the ranch with the children, she seemed different, softer, and dare he say maternal. There were glimpses of the Miss Parker he knew so well, the sarcastic one, the smart ass one, but she had seemed more content with her life than she had ever been before. That is, until he chased her away with his ill timed soul cleansing.

After Miss Parker had departed, Ethan took Jarod aside and told him in no uncertain terms that although he wanted to beat his ass for what he did to his sister, he understood that there were things that needed to be aired out. Though Ethan felt it wasn't his place to reveal to Jarod the reasons and circumstances that his sister did what she did, he did insist that for the sake of the children, he needed to hear Miss Parker's reasoning for her past actions. He hinted rather strongly that there was more to the events than what Jarod knew and that he owed it to himself to listen with an open mind.

"Jarod, would you mind taking Jacob inside. We can lay the twins on the floor while we bring the other things in." Parker asked.

"Sure, I can bring my other little man inside . . ." Jarod said realizing that Parker just nodded her head and was already walking inside with Sydney and Logan.

Major Charles, Jarod, and Parker had made short work of bringing the car seats and other child paraphernalia from the car into the house.

"Would you like something to drink before you leave?" Parker asked the Major and Jarod.

"No thank you Miss Parker. I have to make it a quick trip this time around since Maggie wants me back for some thing or other back home. Jarod will drop me back off at the airstrip on his way to the hotel." The Major said.

"Hotel?" Parker asked looking at both Jarod and the Major.

"Yes, I thought I would look for a more permanent place around the area to be closer to the children," Jarod responded.

"Oh, I didn't realize . . . " Parker had just assumed that Jarod would stay closer to his family and that he would just visit the children semi regularly over the year. Certainly, she did not expect him to actually pick up and move to Blue Cove.

"I didn't expect the children to leave the only home they have known. Besides, the work I do can be done anywhere so I thought I might put some feelers out and see what's available. Plus, it would be less hassle if I wanted to see the children on the spur of the moment." Jarod reasoned.

Jarod and his father said their goodbyes to the children and left.

* * *

Since the children came back in the late afternoon, Parker had enough time to feed them dinner and settle Logan down with some puzzles and books before bed. As she was finishing up the twins' bath, the doorbell chimed. At eight o'clock at night, Parker was not expecting anyone and having visitors this late at night was usually not a good sign.

Padding through the house, she headed towards the front door. It was times like these, that she wished she had a husband; knowing that there was no way one woman could protect all three of her children should the need arise. She stopped in the middle of the living room thinking maybe she just wouldn't answer the door.

She jumped when several knocks echoed through the house. Tiptoeing to the door, she peered through the peephole.

Blinking in surprise, she unlocked the deadbolt and threw the door open to reveal a very sheepish Pretender on the front porch.

"Jarod?" Parker looked at him quizzically. "Did you forget something?"

"May I come in?" he asked in a flat, dull voice. As if he would rather be doing something else but didn't have a choice.

Nodding, Parker stepped back and waved Jarod in.

"Daddy! You're back! Are you staying here?" Logan ran up to Jarod and was immediately picked up.

"Well, that's what I have to talk to your mom about." Jarod answered Logan as he looked at Parker. "I wasn't aware that there was some sort of convention going on in the area and that all the hotels within a 50 mile radius would be booked solid," He explained. "I tried Sydney, but he didn't seem to be around."

"Sydney and Michelle are in New York. Nicholas' wife is having their first baby and they wanted to be there," Parker explained.

"If you don't mind the couch, you can stay here until a hotel room is available." Parker offered. "The guest room is now Logan's and I converted mom's studio into a nursery for the twins, but the couch is comfortable." She would know she slept on it a few times when one of the twins got up for a late night feeding.

"Thank you. It will just be until I find a hotel room or until I find a place to move in to."

"Stay as long as you need Jarod. The kids would love it and I don't mind." _Well, not really_. Parker thought to herself. _How the hell am I going to move forward with my life with Him sleeping on my couch? _

As Jarod went to get his things from the car, Parker herded all of the children into the twins' room for their bedtime ritual. She always read Goodnight Moon to the children at night, even when the twins were newborns. It was a tradition Parker had wanted to pass on to her children; one that she had missed desperately when her mother died.

With the twins in their cribs and Logan on the floor next to Parker, she started to read them the story. "Wait momma, let me get daddy so he can hear the story too. He didn't know about it when we were at the ranch," Logan said as he went in search of his father and came back pulling Jarod right behind him. He sat Jarod right down next to Parker who was leaning up against Sydney's crib.

"Ready?" Parker asked, looking at Logan who nodded, then to Jacob who blew raspberries, then Sydney who was trying to chew her feet. Aware of Jarod sitting right next to her, Parker closed her eyes, attempting to regulate her heart rate. His proximity was wreaking havoc on her pulse. Knowing how he felt about her now, she would not give up what little control she had over her heart. Softly, she began to read.

_In the great green room  
There was a telephone  
And a red balloon  
And a picture of -_

Amazingly enough, the twins were asleep as soon as Parker finished. Logan always made it through the story, but was usually yawning by the end. Jarod was in awe, this was a Parker he had not expected; gentle, loving, caring. This was not the Miss Parker he had been carrying in his head for the last few years.

Logan asked Jarod to tuck him in and Jarod gladly used that as an excuse to move as far away from Parker as he could. His feelings in turmoil, he needed some distance.


	7. Barely holding on to you

**AN: **Thanks to Nancy and NYT for reading and leaving reviews. As you all know, I respond to reviews when I can, but if someone isn't logged on doesn't have an account, I can't PM them back. As always, I appreciate the time you took to read and drop me a review.

NYT, I know right? What? Miss Parker wishing for a husband to protect her? My thoughts were more along the lines of her wishing she had someone to help her protect the children and not necessarily to protect her. Two babies and a toddler, I would think, would be daunting for one woman to keep safe, even for the ever-competent Miss Parker. I apologize if it didn't come across that way. Yes, Miss Parker is a bada$$ and doesn't need a man to "save" her.

Glad people are still reading and dropping reviews. I certainly appreciate it.

* * *

**Chapter 7: Barely Holding on to You**

Jarod woke up to the smell of coffee the next morning. Taking a few seconds, he blinked steadily as he coaxed himself to come completely awake. Then realization hit, _I'm sleeping on Parker's couch_. He turned his head and found Logan quietly playing a video game on a hand held device.

"Good morning Logan," Jarod greeted.

"Good morning Daddy." Logan answered with a big smile.

"Coffee's on if you need some . . ." Parker's voice came from the kitchen. Jarod looked up and found Parker standing by the doorway dressed casually in jeans and a simple button down shirt. "Do you need something to eat?" She asked.

"If it's not too much trouble," Jarod replied as he stretched.

Parker nodded and said, "Bathroom is free if you want to wash up."

"Where are Jacob and Sydney?" Jarod asked looking around for the twins.

"In their swings in the kitchen . . . " Parker responded having to bite her tongue for she almost tacked on a honey at the end.

Jarod headed down to the hallway bathroom to clean up. After taking care of his needs, he ventured out back into the kitchen. The scene Jarod had come upon was very domestic. Parker was scooping up eggs onto plates and adding toast on the way to the table. Mentally shaking his head, he sighed. Not sure how to take in the changes in Miss Parker.

Easily pulling a chair out, Jarod took a seat and looked at the plate in front of him. Taking a cautious bite of the eggs, he said in a staged whisper. "Logan, I didn't know your mom could cook. And it's good too."

"Yeah, she's okay. The food at JF cafeteria is much better though." Logan whispered back. The twins added their two cents by drooling.

"Okay, you two knock it off, if I let you two fend for yourselves for breakfast it would be pop tarts and Twinkies. . ." Parker replied. The look on both Jarod and Logan's face clearly said _"so what's wrong with that?" _Looking at the twins she added. "And I don't want to hear anything from the peanut gallery. I am not responsible for what is in the jars of baby food and cans of formula."

"What's the JF cafeteria?" Jarod asked Logan.

"It's the cafeteria where momma works. On Wednesdays it's pancake and waffles day for breakfast. It's great."

"You go with your mom to work?" Jarod asked again.

"Yeah, we go with her everyday and we go to the day care. The twins are in the baby room and I'm in pre-school. It's lots of fun. We get to read books, and play, and hang out with some of the kids that live there," Logan said, munching away on his eggs.

Jarod realized, he didn't know what Parker did after the Centre had ceased to operate. Not wanting anything to do with her after their one night together, he had completely cut all ties and kept his distance. All he knew was that his former pursuit team did not have to do any jail time, of which he was relieved.

"What's JF stand for?" Jarod asked.

"It's the Jamison Foundation," Parker replied cryptically.

"Your mother's work?" Jarod asked. Parker nodded. "It's basically all the medical and psychological research the Centre did minus the nefarious undertakings my rotten family cooked up. We're mainly a research company. We don't make nearly as much money as the Centre, but its honest work."

"Parker, I had no idea. . . " Jarod said.

"Clearly . . ." Parker replied in return.

"So what are your plans today Jarod?" Parker asked intent on changing the subject.

* * *

On Monday, Parker went to work as usual with the kids in tow. She had to admit that leaving for work was a quicker chore with an extra pair of hands. She didn't ask what Jarod's plans were that day; assuming more of the same; looking for a home, temporary lodging, and what not. It really wasn't her business; she was doing him a favor for the children's sake. At least, that is what she told herself. In the past two days, she found herself becoming more comfortable with his presence around her home. She knew the children were as well.

Finding himself at loose ends later in the morning. Jarod decided to look up the Jamison Foundation. He was surprised to find out that it was actually making a name for itself in the area of medical and psychological research. It was also a rehabilitation centre, opening its doors after the Centre fell. Parker, to his surprise, was the President of the Foundation, and had been so from the beginning. Such begged the question, how long had she been working towards this? Something of the magnitude that the Foundation had to have been planned for a while. Looking up its location, he was flabbergasted to find out that it was in the same location as the Centre had been. Was it just a continuation of the Centre only under a different name? How had Parker accomplished this without him knowing?

A little over an hour later, Jarod found himself driving towards the foreboding structure that had been the Centre. As he saw it in the distance, he looked with trepidation at the building that had held such a dark and sad part of his life. Jarod had to take several calming breaths and wiping sweaty palms on his jeans before walking through the front doors.

He was amazed at the difference in ambiance. The place had lost part of its evil atmosphere. No longer did it appear like hell with nicer furniture. But it seemed like more of a haven a place to seek refuge.

"Can I help you sir?" The receptionist asked him with a welcoming smile.

"Yes, I'd like to see Miss . . . " Jarod was interrupted by someone calling his name.

"Jarod?" Sydney called from behind him. "What are you doing here? I didn't even realize you were in Blue Cove."

"Sydney, it's good to see you again. Congratulations. How is your grandchild?" Jarod asked.

"Very well, thank you for asking. It's a little boy, Joshua" Sydney paused then asked. "What brings you to the Jamison Foundation?"

"Curiosity, I suppose." Jarod replied without looking Sydney in the eye.

"The one of many accomplishments Parker has made in the last few years. Come, I'll take you around." Sydney held a hand out to his former protégé.

Sydney took him first to the gardens. Jarod never even saw the gardens when he was here as an inmate. Now children of all ages were milling about as well as some adults. Most of the adults were Foundation employees enjoying a break, patients visiting with family.

Through his earlier research, he knew that the Foundation had become a well known rehabilitation center in just the last two years. _Amazing!_ Jarod thought. The Foundation served as a sort of rescue shelter for children of abusive homes who were homeless. Some of the children though, were sick and in need of medical care; care that the Foundation provided even if the families couldn't afford to do so.

"Sydney, who . . . how . . ?" Jarod couldn't even begin to express his amazement and admiration.

"Miss Parker. She did this all herself. She had been planning and plotting for years. Even before she worked with the authorities to bring the Centre down." Sydney said.

"What do you mean the authorities?"

"I can't believe you didn't know this already. I would have expected you to have been digging into the details once you heard about the Centre. Miss Parker was instrumental in bringing about the demise of the Centre. She worked closely with the FBI to gather damning evidence against Raines and Lyle. I had often wondered how she kept it to herself. I imagine it was very taxing on her." Sydney said with empathy, but it was apparent that he was proud of what she had done.

Jarod could see how much the Jamison Foundation was helping those in need. Parker had found her calling, all on her own. The knowledge of what Parker had done by herself on her own volition without anyone knowing wreaked havoc in his mind. What else had she not told anyone?

"Sydney, what else has Parker accomplished in the last few years? You had mentioned that this place was one of many accomplishments."

"From what little I know, she was also instrumental in the downfall of the Triumvirate. After the Centre fell, I believe she set her sights on the Triumvirate and as with the FBI; she worked closely with the CIA and other International Agencies. As educated as she was to the operations of the Triumvirate, she was quite an asset to the CIA. They never would have been able to make a move on them without her know how."

"Jarod, are you alright? You look a bit shaken." Sydney's concern was obvious.

"I'm okay Sydney. Just a bit surprised. I thought I knew everything about Miss Parker, the last few years, I did everything I could to distance myself from the Centre. I had convinced myself that Miss Parker had made her choice and that I needed to move on with my life. I . . . and then to find out this? " Jarod said a distant look coming to his eyes as he thought of things said and not said that night three years ago.

For several minutes the two men stared into the courtyard as if silently keeping vigil over the comings and goings of various the Centre employees milling about.

"I had convinced myself that I was better off without her Sydney," Jarod whispered.

"But are you, Jarod," His mentor gently asked, clearly the boy he had always considered a son, was in turmoil. "Not everyone is given a second chance to be with the one they truly love and speaking from experience, I would take that chance any day of the week."

"But can I trust her Sydney?" The Pretender asked sadly. "She has kept so much from me, her plans for the Centre, the existence of the children, what else has she kept from me Sydney? It's one thing to be given another chance, to be with the ones you love. It's a completely different situation if there is no trust."

Sydney nodded for Jarod to continue.

"Three years ago, after Parker's attempt at taking myself and Jack back to the Centre, she walked away Sydney. Without a backward glance, as if that night . . . " Jarod stopped himself, not knowing if Sydney even knew about what had happened in that hotel room between the two children of the Centre he had always considered his wards.

Sydney nodded again. "I had long suspected that there was more to you and Parker that you let yourselves believe in. The ties that bind the two of you together are strong and it wasn't a surprise to me that you both acted on those deep seated feelings."

"It didn't feel that way the next morning when I woke up alone." Jarod said grimly. "Distance seemed the best course of action then; it may still be, with her."

"But how can it be? When we have three beautiful children together?" Jarod sadly glancing at Sydney. "I'm confused Sydney. My heart is telling me to take that second chance I've been given. But the rational part of my brain is telling me to run the other way; that I've been through this pain before."

Sydney smiled gently at him, understanding Jarod's confusion regarding his thoughts and feelings. He patted Jarod's shoulder encouragingly.

"Jarod, family was always the most important thing to you. You have a family of your own now; you've had a chance to get to know your siblings and your parents. Worrying about what the future holds has never done anyone any good." Sydney reminded him. "You need to seize that opportunity, Jarod. Enjoy the unconditional love your children have to offer, because someday those memories may be the only things left. Make them good memories."

Jarod tentatively nodded his head in agreement. He had missed these all important moments with Sydney. His mentor had always had a way of grounding him and helping him see the truth. He sighed then took a deep breath as if he had made a decision.

"Thank you, Sydney." Jarod said his voice little more than a whisper.

"For what, Jarod?" Sydney asked. "You always had the answers inside of you. I was always just the one who pushed you to think outside the box and be anything you wanted to be."

Jarod awkwardly shuffled his feet and looked away.

"Jarod," Sydney said firmly. "What do you really want to do with your life? You are free to do so. The Centre is no more."

"I want what was always out of reach . . ." Jarod whispered desperately.

"All you have to do is reach out and take it, Jarod. Think about what you want for once," Sydney added encouragingly.

Jarod looked at Sydney morosely. "I don't think what I want is being offered, Sydney." Jarod's shoulders visibly slumped. "I can only remember ever truly wanting, no, needing something once. And I'm pretty sure it wasn't reciprocated." He winced as he shook his head. "Even if I reached out to her for anything other than the sake of the children, at this point I think I've acted like an absolute bastard and may have killed any feelings she ever had for me."

Sydney deliberately hid a smile. "I think you too easily disregard the potency of what both of you have together."

Jarod stared at Sydney in disbelief. "Have?"

His mentor laughed quietly. "Did you ever wonder how it was that we were always a few steps behind you? You were a genius, of course, no one doubted that. But Parker, she had that instinct, some called it the inner sense. At any given time, if given a map, she could have easily pinpointed your exact location. Even after the Centre, then the Triumvirate fell, she could have easily found you and your family. I think subconsciously, she knew you needed distance. To not have to think of the Centre coming for you. She never told anyone where you were to keep everyone safe. And if you really thought about it, you would realize that she was helping you all along."

Sydney shrugged his shoulders as he talked. "She never admitted anything to me, you know how close she keeps her cards to the vest, I think perhaps, I had always known. Though she sounded sincere when she threatened to shoot you and drag you back to the Centre, her eyes and the little lip twitch said otherwise."

Jarod tilted his head to one side as he often did when he wasn't sure he understood what someone was saying. "What do you mean?" He asked.

Sydney smiled again. "Parker's bark was always worse than her bite. She led everyone to believe that the one thing she wanted most in the world was to bring you back to the Centre so that she could leave and get on with her life. Everyone, including Mr. Parker."

"Jarod, you should have seen her after she found out the truth about Baby Parker and the twins. Though she was initially horrified to find out what the Centre did, she has since devoted her life to making the environment they live in safe and normal. She loves those children because they are yours and hers together, Jarod." Sydney went on.

He looked hopefully at Sydney, his brow creasing into a frown. "Do you think so?"

"Without a doubt." Sydney confirmed.

Jarod abruptly shook his head. "My heart is telling me to take this second chance. But, I still can't forget the last time I trusted her, Jack almost paid the price."

"I'm not suggesting you push the past aside, I'm suggesting that you give yourself a chance to get to know her and your children. To have the life you have always craved."

Jarod exhaled. "Her life seems so complete now, Sydney. Is there any room left for me?"

"Her life isn't as complete as you think it is. Otherwise, she wouldn't have sought you out." Sydney said softly. "Her life is full with the children, yes, and myself and Broots and our families to an extent. But she hasn't let anyone else into her life since Thomas, since you. No one can ever live up to you and thus she never lets anyone get close to her."

Jarod stared off into space, thinking, pondering, considering, his options. Should he try to make a life with Parker and the children? Did they deserve it?

"Don't throw this chance away, Jarod." Sydney advised. "Don't resolve yourself to a life less than you deserve. Choose to have a life that will make you feel happy and complete. Don't give up on what can be. You both merit the lives you've always wanted. Don't follow in my footsteps and wait too long. You've lost so much time already." Sydney urged his former protégé quietly. "You can't let life pass you by. Reach out and take it now. You are worthy of it."

Sydney realized that he had left Jarod with much to think about and muddle through. It was up to them now to determine their fate and what they want their future to be.


	8. In Pain There is Healing

AN: Thanks to Nancy again for leaving a wonderful review. I certainly appreciate it! A special shout-out to Rosscan. Happy Birthday! DS, thanks for reading and reviewing, I appreciate it very much.

AN2: This is the final chapter of my story. Thanks to all of you who took the time to read especially to leave a review.

* * *

**Chapter 8: In Pain, there is Healing**

Parker sat in Logan's room going through his dresser. He grew out of his clothes too quickly these days. Before she knew it, he would be off to college. She shuddered at the thought. Sydney and Michelle had left with the children an hour ago. They were suffering through withdrawals from their grandchild and wanted to have little feet running around their home. Sydney had hugged her on his way out, a knowing look on his face.

"Give it a chance, Parker." Sydney had whispered. "Trust in your feelings, in return, he may begin to trust you again."

Parker stuffed the last t-shirt into a donation bag in frustration. Though she needed to speak with Jarod to discuss their current living situation, he hadn't come back home yet. _Home?_ She thought to herself, shaking her head. This was her home and she certainly didn't harbor any notions that Jarod considered it his home as well. Though it had only been a few days since he had come to stay, his presence had worked on her nerves mercilessly.

She swore silently, which was the only way she could swear now-a-days with ever-present little ears, and made her way to the front door. With the donation bag in one hand, she opened the door and heaved the bag through without looking. What caught her attention was the "oof" accompanied by a thud, she heard as the door was closing.

Quickly, Parker caught it before it latched shut and peered out. "Jarod? What are you doing on the ground?" She asked incredulously.

"You, ah, have quite an arm there Parker." Jarod said as he made his way back to his feet glancing at the clothes strewn across the front yard. "I knew you could shoot the wings of a fly, but I certainly didn't know you could throw a bag of clothes with such precision."

"Oh, Jarod, I'm sorry, I didn't see you walking up." Parker said as she made quick work of the clothes that had popped out of the bag. Her lips twitched slightly as she stuffed them back in.

Jarod picked up the last few pieces of clothing, his hands gently brushing against hers as he reached for the bag. A quick zing of heat ran through them. Something neither had experienced in three long years.

She quietly took control of the bag, tied a knot and walked it to the end of her driveway where the Salvation Army would be picking up donations in the morning. Turning around, she squared her shoulders. Tired of feeling as if she were on her way to the guillotine, Parker decided to be the one to bring up their current situation. She quietly took a seat next to Jarod on the front steps. Looking at him intensely, she said. "We need to talk, don't we?"

"Yes, we do." Jarod said simply. "About a lot of things, you could say."

"Yes." Parker agreed.

Jarod's eyes did not leave her face. A few beats ticked by silently then Jarod sighed, his gaze filled with longing. Holding her hand in his, he began, "Alex was right, you know. You were the most important person to my world. You still are, even more so because of the children. "

Parker gripped Jarod's hand tightly in hers, not finding the appropriate words to counter his confession.

Jarod breathed hopelessly. "No one knows me like you do. Though Sydney knows me, he doesn't understand me as much as you do. You instinctively know what will hurt me the most, what can anger me the most and you used that to your advantage three years ago."

Parker took a shaky breath and held on to Jarod for dear life as tears slowly formed in her eyes.

"You had me, mind, body, and soul ever since we were children, Parker." Jarod whispered. "I was yours since we were eleven. Know that no one else has meant the world to me quite like you have."

"Jarod," Parker sighed, helplessly overwhelmed.

"You are the one, Parker." Jarod confessed. "I may have considered a few in the time I've been away from the Centre, but they weren't you." Jarod admitted. "For once, I just wanted to come right out and say it. No jokes, puzzles, or a trade of information. I love you, Parker."

She didn't know where to start, so she started with whatever came to mind. "Jarod, on some level, I had always known. This connection we've had since we were young was at times, too much to take, too much to fight, to much to understand."

Parker paused to take a calming breath. "I know you don't approve of my methods for accomplishing things, and you may not have agreed with my decisions, but I did what I thought was right at the time."

Jarod knew that she was talking about that night three years ago when he thought she had betrayed him and used him. He knew now that it had all been part of her plan. He didn't need her to say it out loud or to admit to anything. Without a doubt he now knew that she did as she always had, what was best for him. If it meant lying to him to protect him, she would do it.

"There was a time when I was full of anger and resentment, but as much as I tried, I couldn't hate you." Jarod admitted bluntly.

Parker could only stare at him in wonder. "How could you not?"

"I didn't say my feelings made sense. I'm just letting you know how it was at the time." Jarod went on. "I never stopped loving you or needing you. As much as I beat myself up about it, it was just the way it was."

"So, what now?" Parker asked, hoping for the best, but fearing the worst.

"That all depends on you and how you feel about me; about us; about you and me. Not you, me and the children." Jarod said.

"You still doubt how I feel about you? Knowing what you do now about the decisions I've made, the things I've done?" Parker whispered.

"All I know is that you didn't trust me with the truth, Parker. That you would rather I think the worst of you than let me in. I need you to show me, prove to me that you care about me, about us beyond the fact that we have children together." Jarod said gruffly.

"How the hell do you propose I do that, Jarod?" Parker asked; her irritation quite palpable. "Do you want me to tell you how many nights in the last three years, hell in the last eight years, I've had a full night's rest? None! Do you want me to tell you that I always wake up between the hours of two and four in the morning, hoping against hope that it's you on the other end with some asinine riddle or new tidbit about my past? Do you want to know how much I've missed hearing your voice even if it's just on the other end of the phone?" Parker paused, running her hand through her already disheveled hair. "I can't confirm anything. I can only tell you, with an open heart, finally, that I care. Look at me and see that I care; that I love you and that I can freely say it now. See? I didn't even stutter or feel like throwing up."

With ease, Jarod stood up taking Parker with him. He took her face in his hands and kissed her deeply. The years that had separated them had quickly dissipated as they stood in each other's arms.

"Parker, I've waited too long to be with you again. I don't want it to be on the front stoop with your neighbors looking on." Jarod whispered as he walked her back inside their home.

* * *

Their second time together began with a kiss, the effortless meeting of lips that continued with the gentle nuzzling and tickling of her cheek with his impossibly long, thick eyelashes. Applying only the softest, gentlest pressure, he kissed her throat, around her earlobes, her breasts. He wanted all of her, to give her everything, now that they were completely free to do so. It felt wonderful, natural, and she returned his kisses, sighing as his hand crept down to cup a breast. Arching her back she pushed against his hand as his fingers slipped under one strap of her bra, easing it down slowly, slowly. "The suspense is killing me," Jarod said with a smirk; as he slowly peeled away her dainty lace bra.

She grinned at him when she was completely bare. "What do you want Jarod?" She asked seductively.

Jarod's answer was to leave a wet trail of kisses down her bare torso, nipping and licking greedily. He leaned his body into hers as she wrapped her legs around him to pull him close; close enough to feel his excitement against her.

"You. God, just you." He breathed against her breasts as he shaped and molded them with his palms and fingers, and moved his mouth down, lower, lower. He kissed the tender skin between her bellybutton and pubic bone. He ran his finger along the top edge of her panties, stroked his other hand down her thigh. She lifted her hips when he tugged her panties off.

He gently explored and caressed her as she cried out. Inch by delicious inch he crawled up her body, still stroking her, he kissed her hip, her shoulder, the delicate skin below her ear, and then met her mouth with his own. She kissed him eagerly, one arm winding around his neck, the other hand gliding across his hip, caressing him.

Jarod wrapped his arms about her, surrounding her with his warmth. Their mouths met, gentle and sweet, and she sighed, pulling him closer. He made a line of kisses along her jaw, touching the lobe of her ear with his tongue, and Parker tilted her head back to give him access. Parker grabbed a hold of the sinewy, strong muscles on his back, and the lithe skin around his waist. So much strength, she thought, so much power. And yet all she was ever shown was tenderness. He was firm and hot and male, she thought, tracing the ridged muscles of his stomach.

Settling between her thighs he gathered her wrists up above her head and held them there. She watched him, eyes wide, as he moved inside her quietly, gently without a word, pushing himself deeper inside her, and then stilled. Both gasped at the intensity that continued to build. She reveled in the glorious movement, the deepening ingress and with heightened languor until he was fully inside her.

Despite her impatience, Parker let him to set the tempo, to find the leisurely but assured rhythm. She surrendered to him, to the bliss, and she came first, panting his name pulling her captive arms free. She gripped his shoulders and back as she submitted to the pleasure. She felt adored because it felt like heaven. He began moving again and again. And when it was over he nestled her gently in his arms.

"I love you, Parker," he whispered softly into her hair.

"I love you too, Jarod." she replied drowsily.

Jarod slid one arm around her, and with his other hand he tugged at the blanket, covering them. At that moment, Parker couldn't imagine being anywhere else. This was as close to perfect as they got. She could hear his heartbeat, gradually slowing; feel the rise and fall of his chest. The steady beat of his heart gently lulled her to sleep. With a contented smile on her lips, she looked forward to a new beginning, with Jarod, their family was now complete.

The End


End file.
